tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post2717909367841543711..comments2023-03-29T22:03:22.641-04:00Comments on Escaping The "Trap" of Domestic Violence: "I Got Flowers Today"...A PoemKathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16512389735681699311noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-66204674408989815282009-02-27T21:42:00.000-05:002009-02-27T21:42:00.000-05:00I can not stress enough the importance of leaving ...I can not stress enough the importance of leaving an abusive relationship. I realize for those who are in the situation it is what you are used to whether it is right or wrong. Well....CHANGE IS GOOD!<BR/>I know that alot of women fear what will happen financially to them and their family. They also fear what the abuser will do to them if they ever find them. Some are scared that the abuser will follow through with the threat of killing them. I understand and from a very real stand point. I left an abusive relationship and about two months after I left my EX husband did in fact try to murder me. He stabbed me around 21 times.I was very close to death, to the point that I had accepted it as my fate. Yet those few months of MY LIFE that I took back made it all worth it. Even if I did die I was able to feel like I was in control of me.I know that sounds horrendous and it was however, I am very glad to have gone through that. He wanted to bring me down but he just made me stronger. While I was in the situation I knew it was bad and I knew I needed to get out but it wasn't until I did leave that I realized the severity of my situation. Even if he had killed me, I still had taken some time of my life back and it felt damn good to look at him and not have to bow down to the royal anus! Anyway, my point is as hard as it is... PLEASE LEAVE! It is worth it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-2005157521651776092008-11-11T17:56:00.000-05:002008-11-11T17:56:00.000-05:00In response to "You are helping to break up Famili...In response to "You are helping to break up Families..." You sir, are a complete fool! It is you who needs to be educated and your poor children as well if you have any. Though I pray you do not!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-43519022839402644232008-11-11T17:52:00.000-05:002008-11-11T17:52:00.000-05:00to all the abused... your partner can not and will...to all the abused... your partner can not and will not change as long as there is a victim to be had! The Poem, "I Got Flowers" very much describes the relationship I had. Flowers do not mean they are sorry, nor does gifts, jewelery etc. All those things mean is that the abuser wants you to pretend nothing is wrong. And these attempts will work - but only if you let them. I did. I am in a new relationship now, have been for two years, and I STILL NEVER want to receive FLOWERS ever AGAIN!. Thank God my new partner understands.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-11333122932697936392008-11-11T17:40:00.000-05:002008-11-11T17:40:00.000-05:00to all of you out there who feel that there isn't ...to all of you out there who feel that there isn't hope, there is. I left an abusive relationship after 14 years - 11 of them married. I have four children who ranged in age from 2 1/2 to 10 yrs at the time I left. Even though I knew the time had come that I had to leave, it still took about a year to get the courage to do it. The day I did, he hung himself in front of me, and told me it was for me, for ruining HIS life! Instinct took over and I saved him, but still I never looked back. His suicide attempt was just one more attempt to try and hurt me. My divorce and custody battle are still ongoing, after almost 3 yrs! Believe me, it may not be easy, and I won't lie, it'll probably be one of the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life - but it's worth it! My husband is seen as a pillar in the community, so obviously, I have had to face much ridicule and non-believers. The truth is no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. One of the reasons I stayed so long (besides fear) was for my children, however, I now realize the most important reason for leaving was for my children. We all must take a stand and end the cycle. Once you leave the situation , you may begin educating your children about all forms of abuse. But if you stay, all they will learn is to become victims or abusers themselves. Honestly, there is not a good enough reason to stay.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-1629098825969219772008-04-22T08:39:00.000-04:002008-04-22T08:39:00.000-04:00I really felt the pain of "I Got Flowers Today". H...I really felt the pain of "I Got Flowers Today". How true of an abuser <BR/>wanting to sweep things "under the rug" and not face the seriousness <BR/>of his behavior. How true that women rationalize and excuse his his <BR/>behavior for doing a good deed like bringing flowers. It is so <BR/>confusing when a woman is treated harshly and abusivly then to turn <BR/>around and be given a token of affection. <BR/><BR/>From An EducatorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-78527276642294499852008-04-22T01:54:00.000-04:002008-04-22T01:54:00.000-04:00Yesterday I had to get 4 stitches on my bottom lip...Yesterday I had to get 4 stitches on my bottom lip. It seems to match well with the two black-eyes. I absolutely do NOT know what to do. No one seems to care. There was also no way to get the doctor alone. My husband never leaves my side. He took my car keys and the only way I can use the pc is if he's in the shower or I use the one at the library.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902179325453128352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-67009541025836002072008-04-19T22:53:00.000-04:002008-04-19T22:53:00.000-04:00I read all the stuff you wrote. What you said in ...I read all the stuff you wrote. What you said in your church happens here to. They dont care. If your boyfriend is a volunteer then he looks like hes more holy or somthing. If your the girlfreind anything that goes wrong is your fault. really, no one cares.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-36394497274259776992008-04-18T18:42:00.000-04:002008-04-18T18:42:00.000-04:00I'm scared and dont know what to do. Theres no he...I'm scared and dont know what to do. Theres no help out here. it must be becaus i live to far from the city.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-8370785403823866822008-04-18T18:39:00.000-04:002008-04-18T18:39:00.000-04:00peopel say they care but they really dont. you ca...peopel say they care but they really dont. you can get help only if you fit into some speceil catagory. you always hear that the laws favor women but thats not true. nothing can be done until after the abuser does something to you. no one cares. I have 2 boys. I dont want them to turn out like there father.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-18542594645307958552008-04-18T18:34:00.000-04:002008-04-18T18:34:00.000-04:00I've read all your posts. I was in leadership to ...I've read all your posts. I was in leadership to in my church. It was well known my husband is an abuser. He was so angry one sunday morning that while in the parking lot he slapped me so hard it caused my glasses to fall. There were several that saw what happened. It didnt matter. Since I'm the wife I automatically am assumed the one guilty of some sin. There is no help within my church at all. My entire life has been in the church. Now what?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-89458727622510308582008-04-17T19:08:00.000-04:002008-04-17T19:08:00.000-04:00There is no help here where I am. Its too rural a...There is no help here where I am. Its too rural and theres no way he lets me go anywhere alone. theres no way I would leave the kids with him either. I feel like he uses our kids to control me. What can I do to not feel so scared all the time?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-23449227739054272102008-04-17T19:03:00.000-04:002008-04-17T19:03:00.000-04:00i wish i could believe things would change for me,...i wish i could believe things would change for me, but I dont. two years ago i left, but no one was willing to help me, so i went back to my boyfriend. just like you said, he told me he was sorry. the abuse is still the same and sometimes worse when he's been drinking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-39218117899728135412008-04-17T01:53:00.000-04:002008-04-17T01:53:00.000-04:00There are four of us living together. Two couples....There are four of us living together. Two couples. Our boyfriends are brothers. There are fights every day, either by the things they say or with thier fists. We never get to go anyware unless they go to. We are 19 & 22.<BR/>Our familys live in a different state. we want to leave but are afraid if they find out. how can we do that when we dont have a car or money? what should we do first? Dont email us back. Thank you for helping. Theres no one here where we are to ask and it feels like no one cares. The neighbors downstairs have said they here the fighting at times. If they called the police it would make it easyer but they never have. We're scared all the time. They get mad so fast and sometimes we dont even know wy their mad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-47704969695006204122008-04-16T21:52:00.000-04:002008-04-16T21:52:00.000-04:00Dear Readers,I chose to delete a particular commen...Dear Readers,<BR/><BR/>I chose to delete a particular comment due to recognizable information. However, all questions asked will be addressed in future articles. Rest assured that my first concern is for your safety.<BR/><BR/>Kindest Regards,<BR/><BR/>KathrynKathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16512389735681699311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-51368807176258314832008-04-16T21:26:00.000-04:002008-04-16T21:26:00.000-04:00You are helping to break up familes. The man is t...You are helping to break up familes. The man is the head of the house not the wife. The wife and kids belong to the man. Men have a rite to hit her if she disobeys. you need to educate yourself on facts!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-34526365766865911092008-04-16T09:30:00.000-04:002008-04-16T09:30:00.000-04:00They were talking about this (weak justice system)...They were talking about this (weak justice system) on the radio today. They mentioned how the system keeps letting abusers, pedophiles etc. off with little or no punishment – even repeat offenders. Then when someone ends up dead, everyone points fingers at each other and asks why nothing was done! We keep asking why it takes someone to die before anything gets done, then when all the speeches and photo-ops from politicians dies down it’s back to “normal” and the cycle continues until the next death. The judicial system is a joke and the abusers know it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-4110680029813399392008-04-16T00:21:00.000-04:002008-04-16T00:21:00.000-04:00no help out here. what about girls like me? My bo...no help out here. what about girls like me? My boyfriend never lets me go anywhere an the only time i can use the computer is if he's outside.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2638558641271470163.post-27992679290189376682008-04-16T00:17:00.000-04:002008-04-16T00:17:00.000-04:00I was waiting for you to do another post. I wrote...I was waiting for you to do another post. I wrote to you before. I called the women center like you said but I got no straight answers. I think it might have something to do with me having 3 kids. When I called, I got put on hold for almost 20 minites, then got transfered to three different people. does this sound normal to you. one of my friends is now letting me use her computer but whenever i come here i'm still afraid someone might no what i'm doing. next time you write please let me know what questions I should ask so i can get some straight answers.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902179325453128352noreply@blogger.com